I Understand - pt. 2

Pairing:Mob!Steve x Reader

Summary:You realized just how much you need him. You go to him and try to talk things out. 

Word count: 1,765 

Warnings:angst/fluff, mentions of torture, cursing

Authors Note: thank you so much for the love on the first part. I’m so in love with mob!au’s and happy how much this one turned out. if you have any suggestion on what I should write next, pls let me know <3

part 1 here!

(not my gif, credit to owner)

It has been 2 weeks since you last saw Steve. Every day you have been getting different types of flowers delivered to your apartment from Steve. With each bouquet, he has been living different notes stating how much he loves you and wondering if you were ever going to forgive him. He was hoping and praying that maybe you would text him back.

You want to forgive him, but you just don’t know if you could. I mean, you saw him almost kill a man. It is traumatizing. You do miss him so much. You miss his touch, the way he always rubs your back when you guys cuddle, and how he cooks for you and tells you how much he loves you.

You just got back from a long bad day at work and school. You turned in your assignment late, that you were really hard on, and your teacher only gave you half credit on it. Then the coffee machine at your job stopped working, but it stopped working after you got half a cup of coffee. But then your stupid co-worker, who is always rude to you, accidentally bumps into and spills your coffee all over your white blouse. So you had to deal with a coffee stain shirt all day and everyone kept giving you weird looks.

Once you arrived at the doorstep of your small apartment, you noticed a bouquet that was mixed with sunflowers and roses, your two favorite flowers, on top of the doormat. You already knew it was from Steve. You picked up the flowers off of the ground with one hand and used the other had to unlock your front door with your house key that was already in your hand. You unlocked and opened the door and pushed it open your foot. You walked to your kitchen, which was right by the front door, you dropped off your keys, purse, and the flowers all on the counter. You noticed that the flower had a note on it with a small paragraph. It usually didn’t have noted on it, when it did it only had Steve’s name on it. You grabbed the note to read it.

“I know you still haven’t forgiven me because you haven’t reached out. So, this will be the last time you will hear from me. I know you don’t want anything to do with me anymore. But just know that I always will and forever love you. When your ready to be with me, ill be waiting. -Steve”

You read the note twice just to make sure you read it. You weren’t sure how to feel. You wanted to be with him but you aren’t sure if you had forgiven him yet.

── • ✰ •  ──

It has been two days since you received the last flowers from Steve. You thought about the whole situation that happened, and you realized just how much you need him and that he needed you. You made your final decision. You wanted to be with him no matter what. So today, since it is your day off, you are going to go over to his house and tell him that you have forgiven him.

You woke up and got ready like any other day. You wore your favorite outfit, had a nice breakfast, and was on your way to Steve’s house by midday.

It was about a 15-minute drive with a little bit of traffic. The whole way you were mentally preparing yourself and thinking of what you were going to say. You parked your car in front of his house, by the sidewalk. Got out of your car, walked up to his house, and knocked on the door. Your nerves were everywhere. You felt like you were about to have a heart attack. You couldn’t stop playing with your nails, which you always did when you were nervous. You heard the front door open and you felt your heart stop for a minute. You looked up from your hands and saw Steve staring at you with a shocked but confused face. He didn’t expect to see you anytime soon.

“Hi,” You said with a gentle tone. Steve was still looking at you with a confused face. He didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes. He was still trying to understand why you swerve standing in front of him and if you were there or if he was just dreaming.

“H-hi.” He was trying to think of what to say to you without scaring you off again. “What are you doing here?”

“Umm, I came here to see you.” You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t want to be straight forward. “I wanted to talk to you…. about us.”

“Of course. Come in” He responded quickly. He opened the door wider and moved to the side to let you go through. While walking through the door and passed him, you looked up at him and gave him a small smile, he returned one back to you.

He closed the door behind you and motioned you to his office with his hands. You nodded to him, showing that you understood the way he wanted to go, and walked up the stairs into his office. You opened the office doors and slowly walked towards the middle of the room, you didn’t know to stand or to sit. You just decided that standing was probably better. You felt this feeling of deja vu. All the feelings of when you were last in the office were coming back to you all at once, making you nervous then you already were.

You looked back to the office door to Steve closing the door. He walked towards you in the middle of the room and slowly sat to lean on the front of his desk. He looked at you up and down, waiting for you to speak first.

“I know this is kind of unexpected but I did a lot of thinking over these past few days and I know this has been hard on the both of us. But I know what I want to do and I know what is the right decision to do between us. I wanted to tell you this in person instead of over the phone. I knew it would be better this way.” You were scared to see his reaction. You knew he wanted you but have things change over the last few days.

“You want to end things officially, don’t you?” He cut you off, spitting out his assumption.

“W-what?” You were shocked by his question. “Of course not. I want to be with you.”

He looked at you with a shocked face. He did not expect to hear that from you. He thought you were going to leave him for good after how much he frightened you that day.

“Why?”

“What do you mean ‘Why’? I love you Steve and nothing is going to change that.”

“But that day, you were so scared of me. I thought you were going to leave me for good after you found out the truth.”

“I mean, yea I was scared of you, but that didn’t make me want to leave you.” You tried to explain it to him. “I just need some time to understand this whole fucked situation.”

You look at him with pleading eyes. You wanted to know what he was thinking.

“So you wanna be with me?” He asked

“Of course. I just-I just am a little scared.” You replied with uncertainty. He looked at you with questioning eyes but nodding for you to go on. “I’m scared of how this is going to effort us. I’m scared that I might be in danger all the time because of your enemies. I’m scared of losing you.”

Your voice was shaky and you had tears starting to form in your eyes. You looked at the ground trying to avoid looking at him, which might make you start crying. He looked at you with sadness and guilt, knowing he caused you this feeling. He got up from leaning on his desk and walked closer to you. He stood right in front of you, with both of your chests almost touching. He placed both of his hands on your cheeks, trying to direct your face towards him. You looked back at him and put both of your hands on his lower stomach in a comforting way.

“I understand that you are scared, but you need to know that I will never let anything happen to you. I will protect you no matter what the consequences are. You are my whole world, and I will protect your life even if that means losing mine.” He said while looking directly into your eyes, showing that he means what he said.

You nodded at him showing him that you understood what he said. You let your hands, that were on his chest, slowly move to go around his waist and around to rest on his back. You stepped forward, moving even closer to him, connecting your hands on his back and letting your hand rest on his chest. He moved one arm to go around your waist, and the other around your shoulder, with his hand on top of your head, squeezing you tight.

He looked down at you and smiled happily loving the feeling of having you back in his arms. He was so glad that he finally had you back and made you his again. He leaned down with his head to kiss you on the top of his head. You guys stood there for a couple of minutes, just embracing each other.

You made the first move to separate from each other. You took a step back and moved your hands back to the front of his chest. His hand was still on your waist with the other moved to rest on your cheek. You leaned forward, on your tippy-toes, and kissed him on the lips. He was shocked that you did that but he loved the feeling of your lips on his. He missed the feeling that your kisses gave him.

“I love you so much.” He said against your lips once you guys released from the kiss. You gave him a small and a small peck.

“I love you too. More than you will ever know.”

You know that you made the right decision going back to him. You were finally happy again, and so was he. He knew that you were the one and planned to never lose you.

—–

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I Need You To Understand

Pairing: Mob!Steve x reader

Summary: You find out Steve is the leader of a mafia gang. 

Word count: 2041

Warnings: angst/fluff ,mentions of torture 

Authors Note: sorry I havent posted in a while. I’ve been busy with school and some health issues, but not covid. i really hope you enjoy this one. let me know if I should make part 2 because im kind thinking about it. im proud of this one and please send me feedback <3

part 2!

(gif not mine, credit to owner) 

You and Steve have been dating for almost a year now. It was his birthday coming up soon so you thought it would be a good idea to go over to his house and surprise him with an early birthday present. You had a key to his house, he gave it to you for your 6 month anniversary, so you just walked in. You saw his maid cleaning in the kitchen. You asked him if she might know where Steve is and she told you he was in the basement. You thought him being in the basement was a bit weird since he never went down there, but you didn’t question it much.

You walk down the stairs and see two large men backsides facing you and Steve standing behind a man who was tied to a chair with a large knife held against his throat. The man has his white button work shirt unbuttoned with cuts covering his chest and face, and blood dripping down his whole body.

“Oh my god,” You covered your mouth with your hand and took a step back from the scene. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing right now.

Steve looked up from the man when he heard you speak and saw you on the verge of tears with a horror look on your face. You stared at the scene for about 10 seconds, debating on what the right move might be before you turned around and started running up the stairs. Trying to run away from Steve before he can do anything to you.

“Fuck” Steve said while dropping the knife on the floor and running after you. He turned quickly to the two large men while running, “Watch him”.

Steve ran up the stairs and ran after you. Before you could reach the front door, he wrapped his arms around your waist and caught you in a tight hold, preventing you from running away from him. You tried ripping his arms off of you but he was too strong. You thought you were next.

“Let me go. Please” You tried pleading to him. Not wanting your life to end.

“Calm down. I’ll let you go when you calm down.”

“No, get off of me. P-please”

“Babe, I need you to calm down.”

“Please don’t hurt me. Please.”

He can hear the fear in your voice and that just broke his heart. He never thought he would be the one to make you scared.

“I’m not gonna hurt you. I would never, but I need you to calm down for me.”

You finally started struggling, knowing you were losing the fight. You were breathing hard and had tears dripping down your face. Steve relaxed his arms around your body and turned you around to face him. He had both his hands on your upper arms, trying to make you stay still. He looked at your terrified face. He can see the tears running down on your cheeks and you looking everywhere else but at his face.

“Ok, I’m gonna take you to my office upstairs and we are gonna talk.” He put his hand on your cheek and rubbed away the tears. “Ok?”

You nodded while finally looking at him but only for a split second, too scared to look at him. He finally let you go and gently pushed you in front of him with only one arm around your waist. You walked to his office with Steve trailing behind you. Once you guys reached his office, he reached over you and turned the door handle. Once the door was open, you walked inside. You were still scared of him and what he might do, so you just did what he wanted. He lightly pushed you inside and closed the door behind you guys, while locking it.

Steve guided you to sit in the large chair in front of his desk. You sat down with your hands in your lap and looking at the ground. He moved to sit on the front of his desk, facing you. He was thinking of the right thing to say, not wanting to make things worse.

“I know you’re scared right now, but I need you to listen to me and let me explain.” He said with a gentle voice.

You looked up at him with teary eyes and fear rushing through your veins. You didn’t know what to think right now. Was everything he told you a lie? Was he using you for something? Were you next? You still nodded your head at his statement and looked back at the ground.

“Ok, good.” He stepped forward, away from his desk, and moved closer to you. He kneeled down in front of you and put his large hands onto your hands that were still played on your lap. You flinched a little at the sudden touch from him. He looked at you trying to understand what you are thinking and how you are feeling.

“I know you are scared but I need you to listen to me. I am not going to hurt you, I would never dream of hurting you. I just want to explain to you what you just saw.” He was caressing your knuckle with his thumbs. “I have not been 100% honest with you. I lied to you about what my job is and how I make my money.”

He hesitated for a second to explain to you. He was scared of your reaction.

“I told you I was a business owner, which was true, but not the type of business you would usually think of. I am the owner of the mafia, more like the leader.” He looked at your face for a reaction but all he got was a serious face with more tears dripping down your face. You were scared out of your mind.

“I understand you’re afraid and confused right now. I will answer any questions you have to make you understand. No more lies. I don’t want you to be scared of me right now. You mean the world to me and you are the person I love most in this fucked up world. I can’t lose you now.”

You had a million questions but you honestly were scared to ask. Still, you had to know the answers. You hesitated for a second, still trying to process everything. You didn’t know what question to ask first. You needed to know one thing. 

“W-why?” You spoke with hesitation and a hint of fear in your voice. 

“Why what?” 

“Why were you about to kill that man?”

“He betrayed me.” He was scared to tell you the truth but he knew he had to. “He began working for me a couple of months ago. He worked closely with me and I trusted him only to find out that he was working with my biggest enemy and he was spying on me. He was reporting back to his boss on everything I was doing”

“So that’s your reason for killing him.” You had slight anger in your voice. “You were about to take a human life just because he betrayed you.”

“I know it sounds bad but you don’t understand. This isn’t just some regular business where I can just fire him. If he lives after I found out about his betrayal then that makes me look weak and pathetic to other mafia gangs.” He was trying to defend himself. Make you believe he was doing the right thing. “If they see that, then that allows them to make a move on me and take over my business. That allows them to take over and kill me. Every day in the mafia is a life or death situation and I always choose the situation that will keep me alive.”

“But still, killing someone isn’t something to take lightly. How do you think I feel? I’m scared out of my mind right now.”

“I know you are. Trust me, I felt the same way you did when my father told me everything.”

“Your father? I thought he died when you were young.”

“He did. He was going on a risky mission to bring down a very bad and dangerous gang, who liked to hurt people for fun and do whatever they wanted. So, before he left he told me everything that was happening. I knew he worked for a dangerous business but I didn’t understand since I was so young. That night he told me everything and if anything ever happened to him that I had to help my mom with the business and take over once I was old enough, and lead just like he did.”

“That’s how you got into the mafia?”

“Yea. My family has been a part of it since the beginning of it.”

“Did your dad succeed in the mission?”

“Yea, he did. He killed the leader of the gang and took over. He made it a part of ours and made it great. But he died a couple of years later and missed the true success of it. I know you must think that we do bad things as a gang, but that’s the complete opposite. We help people, we give them jobs and turn their lives over. We help the people in need.”

You nodded at his response. You didn’t know what to say. You were still speechless. You understand a little more but you were still scared. 

You and Steve haven’t spoken for a couple of minutes, just in silence.

 “Can you please say something? I need to know what you are thinking.” Steve begged to you, needing to hear you speak. 

“I am thinking about how to handle this situation. I am thinking of how we go on after all of this.”

Steve stood up from kneeling on the floor and moved to sit in the chair next to you. 

“I still love you and I still wanna be with you. I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore but if you do I need to know.”

“I don’t know if I still wanna be with you. I still love you and I know I will always love you but I just don’t know how to feel about us. I mean, you are the leader of a mafia gang. Like this stuff only happens in movies.”

“I know.” He replied with a chuckle.

“I just-I don’t know” You paused for a second. Too scared to tell him the truth, scared he might be angry and do something he might regret.. “I think we need some time apart. I need some time to think and process everything that has just happened.” 

“Of course. I completely understand.” He reached over the armrest and put his hand over yours and gave it a little squeeze. “Take all the time you need. I’ll be here waiting for you.”

As he said that, you looked over at him and saw a little comforting smile form on his lips. It gave you a little hope that everything was going to be okay between you guys.

You slowly sat up from the chair and turned to face Steve, who was still in the chair next to yours. You put your hand over his cheek. Looking into his beautiful blue eyes, taking them in. Hopefully not for the last time.

With that, you realized his face and walked to the door behind his sitting self. As you put your hand on the door handle, you stopped for a second.

You turned to him, “I know this changes things between us, but this doesn’t change the fact that I love you. Just wanted to let you know that.”

He turned around to face you, still sitting. He looked at you with love in his eyes.

“I know.”

You were happy with his response and gave him a little smile. You turned back to face the office door and turned to open the door. You went through the door and left the house. You left him behind, thinking if he will ever see you again. Hoping that you will eventually come back to him. No matter how long it takes, he will wait for his whole life for you.

——

@perfectkittykitten 

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